Borja, Spain.
Population: 4,931. (2014)
Elevation: 448 m
21°C, Wind NW at 16 km/h, 69% Humidity. Current Day.
Gaze, Dear Reader, upon the fair and pastoral setting of this ignominious event which I, by the grace of the All Father, shall recount to you in plain facts here, as a cautionary tale. Let us start, then, in the customary way, at the beginning.
A BRIEF HISTORY OF BORJA
Founded as a Celtiberian settlement in fifth century BC, the modest, picturesque village of Borja has withstood punishing waves of conflict across the vast ocean of human history: Roman conquest in the first century BC, Muslim conquest in the eighth century AD, later came Christians from the north in the twelfth century, Anno Domini.
Years passed in this way until 1438, when Borja was declared a "city" by decree of King Alfonso V of Aragon. Later, in 1478, the city along with the rest of the Iberian Peninsula, was plunged into a furnace of holy, cleansing fire under The Tribunal of the Holy Office of the Inquisition. (The Spanish Inquisition) aimed at purging from the kingdom all non-Christians.
By January 1492, Grenada, the last outpost of Moorish rule in Spain, fell ending 780 years of Muslim control in the Spanish peninsula. The Catholic Monarchs, Isabella I and Ferdinand II, then expelled from Borja (and the newly unified Spain) any Jew or Muslim who refused to convert to Christianity. Later that same year, they dispatched Christopher Columbus to the Bahamas to wage his own brand of Inquisition upon the heathens he found there.
Santuario de Misericordia
Interior, Evening, 1930.
In the glow of electric lamplight upon the aging walls of Borja’s Santuario de Misericordia Church, the face of our hero, portrait painter Elias Garcia Martinez is illuminated. He is engaged in holy meditation, consumed in a painting commissioned by the local municipal authorities, a devotion to the Holy Virgin of Mercy. Spain has fallen on hard times. There is little funding for such work, but Garcia, making use of the inadequate supplies afforded him, completes the piece in two hours. He names the work, “Ecce Homo.”
ECCE HOMO
The fresco, oil on plaster, 60×40 cm, is a portrait of Christ, draped in a purple robe, crowned in thorns. The painting is not technically original. It is a common depiction of Jesus, typical of traditional Catholic iconography in the “man of sorrows” style of the late Renaissance. It is meant to be a devotional image, detached from the narrative of Christ's Passion, intended for meditation.
This famous phrase, “Ecce Homo” which translates from Latin to “Behold the Man,” comes to us from the Gospel of John. It is a references to the words of Pontus Pilate as he presents Jesus to the mob.
Then Pilate took Jesus and flogged him. And the soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head and arrayed him in a purple robe. They came up to him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” and struck him with their hands. Pilate went out again and said to them, “See, I am bringing him out to you that you may know that I find no guilt in him.” So Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said to them, “Behold the man!”
When the chief priests and the officers saw him, they cried out, “Crucify him, crucify him!” Pilate said to them, “Take him yourselves and crucify him, for I find no guilt in him.” The Jews answered him, “We have a law, and according to that law he ought to die because he has made himself the Son of God.”
When Pilate heard this statement, he was even more afraid. He entered his headquarters again and said to Jesus, “Where are you from?” But Jesus gave him no answer. So Pilate said to him, “You will not speak to me? Do you not know that I have authority to release you and authority to crucify you?” Jesus answered him, “You would have no authority over me at all unless it had been given you from above. Therefore he who delivered me over to you has the greater sin.”
(John 19:1-11)
Santuario de Misericordia
Interior, Evening, 2012.
Enter now the villain of this tale, Cecilia Giménez, 81-year-old cleaning lady, DEAMON. Picture her in the church now cleaning between devotees, their heads bowed beneath the fresco, contemplating the passion of the Christ. All the while Cecilia is stealing glances at the painting with an evil eye. Here is Christ in his suffering, made to further suffer the crumbling weight of years. Picture now Cecilia, LIAR, edging closer to our Lord, dust rag and spray bottle in hand, feigning the motions of her job, pretending to janitor the Sanctuary of Mercy. All the while her unblinking eyes fixed critically upon the fresco, with all the compassion of a preying mantis.
Cecilia lurks and loiters until she alone remains in the chapel. In shadow, she slithers up to the fresco. Left and right she glances furtively for prying eyes. There are none. She is face to face with Jesus now. She beholds the man. Cecilia sees imperfection. Dust and flaking paint. This is not the savior she has longed for. Not the Jesus of her prayers. This aging messiah is incompatible with her metropolitan sensibilities. She must fix him. He is something that must be fixed. He will be made right. By her. She is sure that she is the one. Her hand trembles; she is giddy. Cecilia raises the spray bottle. Spritz. Spritz. Then the dust rag.
The community of Borja erupted in scandal. Soon after, the world. The once sacred fresco, that devotional icon had become a laughing stock. A meme. Jesus was gone now. Nothing of him could be found there. Locals renamed the painting “Ecce Mono.” Behold the monkey.
Ecce Thïccøq
Imagine, dear reader, your disgusted elder, “Get a haircut!”
Remember well your home room teacher, “You know you can’t wear that t-shirt to school!”
All the times your birthing parent told you, “Go outside and play like the other kids. You spend too much time alone in your room in front of that computer.”
Or your girlfriend from college, “Your music is weird. Come to think of it, you’re weird. And you never take me out to nice restaurants like Jenny’s boyfriend.”
Even now, at work your boss warns you, “Never send another email to clients without spell checking it first. Why do you keep writing, ‘Wat means?’ Where’d you learn English? Also what the hell is with your signature line? Your name ain’t Jamal.”
Too tall, too short, too old, too young, nose is too big, rabbit teeth. You don’t talk enough, you talk too much. You’re too direct. Too shy. You jack off all day. Eat your boogers. Got too many cats. You should smile more.
They know better how to be you. Just a few little changes. How to behave, what to wear, what and when and how to eat, too many macros, your workout sucks, here lemme show you what you’re doing wrong. You need a better car if you want to pick up girls. Cecilias with spray bottles and dirty dust rags, all of them wiping your face off, painting you up real pretty.
Most probably mean well, but so did Cecilia Giménez. They aim to fix you, fix whatever’s wrong with you. To strip the bark, the leaves, to sand off your rough edges, to recreate you in their own image and turn you into a performing monkey. Beware.
Wat Means?
So what does it mean, Thïccøq? How shall we then live, ever dodging Cecilias? The answer is written above, found in the gospel. The example of the historical Jesus and his exchange with Pontus Pilate is worth noting, whether Christian or otherwise.
When they mocked the man, when they called him names, unsuited him, when they made him change his T-shirt and dressed him in a tacky hat, he would not respond. Did not engage.
When they beat him, cut his hair, when they tried to rearrange his face. He remained unbroken, unchanged. Took it like a man.
When he was asked, “Where are you from? Who are you?” He remained silent except to say: “You have no power over me except what power is given to you BY ME.”
The magistrate passing sentence witnessed these things and had only this to say, “Behold. THIS is a MAN.
Any man's demise diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, therefore never send to know for whom Cecilia tolls; Dearest Reader, Cecilia tolls for thee.
Mr. Coq, I'm glad to have found your writings; they are entretaining, hilarious, and educating. Thanks for you work. Looking forward to continue reading!
Thank you. Entertaining, hilarious and education seems like an agreeable combination of qualities. Just getting started on these. Glad to have you along for the ride.